April 21, 2009

iThin

A lot of rumors going around about me. How I’m too thin. Well, maybe you’re all too fat. After all, Fatties are destoying the planet. I have a metabolic imbalance, it’s called “I don’t eat every f**king thing in front of my face and then top it off with a pint of haagen-dazs and a Big Gulp-osis”.

No, but seriously, I’m feeling good.

I’m slowly having all my organs replaced with Apple replacements.

1) A revolutionary blood filtering device: the iLiver.

2) A breakthrough enyzme and insulin regulator: iPancreas

3) And a game-changing lymphatic product: MobileSpleen

Enjoy.