April 26, 2010

You’ve been served

My minions in the DA’s office in San Mateo are hard at work. They got a warrant so I and my crack squad of black-baggers could ransack Jason Chen’s house.

We got it ALL. I’m talking 3 sweet MacBook Pros, A big ‘ol Seagate drive filled with raw footage of some bullshit documentary he’s working on and pics of his wife and family (posting them up soon). An HP MediaSmart server loaded with all 5 seasons of “The Wire”, an “Alice in Wonderland” torrent, and a shit-load of Anime Tentacle-Porn. We also snagged a Samsung digital camera (I would’ve gone with the Canon PowerShot) loaded with some lame pics of a trip up to Napa. Yawn. Deleted. An iPad with not much on it except smudges. We got his wife’s iPhone left on the charger dock. I wonder if Jason has seen all those texts from Brian….hmmmm, Jason? We also took his collection of DC Comics vinyl action figures, a few watercolor prints, and the ice cube trays.

Most insulting was a Thinkpad. I Thinknot. What a traitor. I was gonna put everything back until I saw that lame-ass hunk of black plastic. I personally crushed it with my Segway, after I took an upperdecker in the guest bathroom.

So, in conclusion, all these items and more can be found on Ebay. Meanwhile, Grey and I are heading up to the Trailblazers/Suns game 5 with hotties Grey met on “Hot-or-Not”. Should be a bitchin’ time.